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Saturday, November 6, 2010


It's been ages since I visited this blog account. Much has been going on lately and I barely have time to write. I got my hands full with responsibilities that I could not sit down and take time to just express my thoughts into writing.

At this point in time, our house is silent. This type of silence is deafening. As a result, I am feeling a bit blue because I remember so many people and so many things that I miss right now.

I MISS............

.........the beach and swimming.
- I loooove the water. Swimming makes me feel carefree and relaxed. Whether I'm at the pool or the beach, I never miss the chance to take a dip.

.........riding jeepneys.
- It's been months since I rode a jeepney. When I started driving, I never got the chance to ride one of the Philippine's unique mode of transportation. Believe me, there are times and situations wherein you wished that you were riding a jeepney rather than driving. When you bring a car, you have to pay for the fuel, look for a parking space, and sometimes pay for the parking fee. As compared to jeepneys, all you need to do is pay like P7.00 and you are set to go to your destination without worrying about other things.

.........watching movies.
- I am a movie fan, seriously. Whether it is shown at movie houses or on HBO, even on a pirated DVD (sorry OMB), I watch it. I love romcoms, thriller/suspense, action/comedy, fantasy, scifi but please, NO HORROR MOVIES. Now, I'm set to watch the movie "GROWNUPS" by myself at our living room.

- The loud noise and laughing with friends are the things I miss the most. Now I am stuck at home, set to watch a movie with my bag of chips, alone. Some of my friends are busy or just not physically present. This is just saddening.

..........working out.
 - Hip hop abs used to be my bestfriend, but now I barely see the bald dude on the screen of my computer. I used to work out every 5pm but then I chose to work for 2 part time jobs and earn money. Now I sit here as I continue to build more flabs than abs. sigh.

 - If I still had my visa, I should have been enjoying the time of my life at the land of make believe. Due to uncontrollable circumstances, it was denied for renewal and I'm stuck here trying to imagine theme parks, shopping outlets and caucasian males. haha.

 - I used to blog a lot but I am taking care of a lot of things that I barely have time for myself. I run errands, drive for my mom, go on duty, work part time and much more. Writing is one way for me to just express whatever is in me. Now that things piled up, I could not resist but write. This is my outlet and I thank God that I have such blog account to make this possible.

There are just a lot of things that I miss doing. Though this doesn't mean I'm complaining of my life right now. Actually, my life is doing great..let me make that awesome. I'm working, undergoing a training, earning..basically living semi-independently like what a young adult should do.

I am blessed to have this kind of life. I hope I could find the time to do all the things I MISS.

Have a great weekend :)


Saturday, July 24, 2010


Sweaty palms. Shivering knees. Scared. Clueless.

That's what I felt when I first set my hands on the wheel. The feeling was inexplicable. It's like I wanted to puke and pee at the same time (pardon my French). The minute I agreed to enroll myself in a driving school, I knew that there was no turning back.

Everyone in my family knows how to drive, well, except for my little brother. He only knows how to turn on the car engine and he's pretty proud about that. I would not laugh about that little sense of accomplishment because that's how I started. Before, every morning he lets me turn the car engine and the aircon because he explained to me that cars should be warmed up for at least 15 minutes specially if it's run by Diesel. 

Around summertime of year 2008, I enrolled for a 1 week driving course at APO Driving School. My dad had to pay around P2,500 and that's good for 5 hours driving with 5 lectures scheduled every Saturday morning. On my first day, I drove a Honda Jazz. It's cute and just about the same size that I practiced on before enrolling. The first thing that the instructor told me was that if I already know how to drive. I simply answered him that I do drive but just around our neighborhood. So he told me drive to Ma-a Road. We stayed for a couple of minutes at the side of the road beside NCCC Mall and he was giving me lectures about the gears, mirrors, etc. And guess what, after 10-15 minutes, he told me to drive all the way and we reached the Diversion Road (a highway). I got really nervous that I wanted my 1 hour to end fast. Day 2 was different because I got a little confident after driving on the highway during the first day. And so the 5 days went on safely and smoothly.

During my review classes (2009), I practiced driving to my review center with my sister. But then she had to take the car back to the house after. They didn't really let me bring the car myself. In the first place, I do not know how to park. LOL. It just went on like that. It was only this year that I started to bring the car alone. I was still not good at parking and my speed limit was 30 km/h. Sloooooow. Tell me about it. Tsk. After so many hours and days of practicing, they let me drive our Toyota from our house to my dad's office. It was only a 10 minute drive but my nerves were acting crazy. Thank God I arrived in one piece. haha.

Our 1993 Toyota Corolla. It went through a lot of bumps and grinds but still running. :)
This is also the car that I drive around for errands and laag.

From then on, I can drive anywhere, as long as I have someone with me who knows the streets well. I've been living here in Davao for 21 years but I suck at directions, believe me. I felt proud for the fact that my parents trust me with our car. It is such a big responsibility to take on but I did it..well, still doing it. I also get a bit intimidated because my parents and all my sisters know how to drive. I am the kind of person that doesn't want to be left alone. haha. So that did kind of pushed me to really learn. 

Now, I can drive any of our 3 cars and yes, manually operated. I would love to drive automatic since it would feel like driving a bump car (minus the bumping thing). Step on go and stop. Driving with a stick is a bit complicated and you really have to be alert to shift gear, or step on the brakes, etc. Well, I got used to it.

Our Kia Avella. It is our 'practice' car. But since it was repainted and all, I now have to be extra careful.

It was only during this month that my dad really allowed me to be behind the wheels of our family car. He has no choice but to let me since my sister who officially drives it is already in abroad. I will never forget his face when I first told him I'd drive it by myself to pick up my mom. He was hesitant but again, he had no choice. hihi. To be honest, I was afraid. That car was extra special to my dad because it's his favorite. I hid my fear and acted confident so he would trust me. 

Just this week, my luck with cars went really low. Last Monday, July 19, I accidentally bumped our car's rear to a little tree. The tree was really short and I didn't see it (or wasn't I looking??). So as a result, it damaged the bumper. Boo.

Daddy's Car. 

Jessica's Signature on Dad's Car. hahaha. Stupid Tree. 

Then July 23, last Friday, a car hit the rear of the Toyota car. It was an accident and of course, it was not my fault. I guess he just didn't 'see' my car. I don't know with that guy. All I know is that it's his fault. But I can't help but cry on that day. I felt embarrassed to have committed two minor car accidents in less than a week. A first in the family. Tsk. 

This car went through a lot. If you see the whole back of this car, it has so many scratches. 
But I would love to call it as 'beauty marks' and here's the latest addition. :)

Well, with what I went through over the week, I'm just thankful that I'm still in one piece. Nothing really major happened and I am not asking for one. Oh please, Dear God, no. My loving parents still let me drive. I am just hoping that this would be the last of this experience. 

I still want to drive and go 
but please, NO MORE POW.

My sister told me that in abroad, you'll be able to identify if the car is owned by a Filipino 
because of the hanging rosary on the back view mirror. 
"Almighty God, Please Keep Us Safe Always".



Friday, July 16, 2010


It has been awhile since I blogged. So many things were happening lately, that I was not able to just sit down and blog about anything or everything. Now I'm back and I have a few things to say about the happenings between the month of June and July. :)

IT'S OFFICIAL......Benigno "Noynoy" Aquino III has been declared as the 15th President of the Republic of the Philippines last June 30, 2010. Honestly, I was not able to witness the inaguration since I left at around 10:30 am to watch Eclipse. (Sorry Motherland! hihi) I should have witnessed a historical event through the plasma screen but I opted to watch a blockbuster at the cinema. Shame on a pure blooded Filipino like me! haha. But I wasn't griping all day because I know for a fact that I was not alone. I was with a couple of friends and there were a lot of people on the movie houses on that day too. I guess they missed the ceremony unless they have this ultra high-tech cellphone with a television. haha. I am proud to have voted Mr. P. Noy. Go Yellow Army!

*Thumbs up to Mr. P. Noy :)

IT'S OFFICIAL......Mr. D and me got back together. Yey! It happened spontaneously last July 9. While we were dining and talking at Coco's, I suddenly told him YES! :) That's the word he waited for 3 months. That was a very busy day for me..doing all the errands all day and driving from North to South, from East to West (with a little exaggeration right there. haha). I realized that all the way, he's really there beside me, like literally. He was sitting at the passenger's seat while I drove back and forth. Oh how I wish he would get a license so that we could take turns. :)

*Notice how our hands and the space below form a heart shape?
Unintentional. :)

IT'S OFFICIAL......I'm employed! Congratulations to me. :) Though it's not a job related to my profession, it is very much connected to my passion, which is writing. The salary is just okay. It's not that I can shop for all the clothes that I want in the world, but hey, it's still a decent job and I'm GOING TO GET PAID. (That's in future tense because I still didn't receive my first salary. LOL)

*Those are pretty nails. But it's not mine. 

IT'S OFFICIAL.....My dad's letting me drive our family car! Yahoo! When my sister, Ate Hanna was still here, she was the only one SUPER trusted by my dad to drive that big car. He was also okay with my eldest sis driving it but NOT ME. He still didn't have that much confidence in me, although I have tons myself. (hehe). Since my sis went abroad, he has no other choice but to let me drive it. So there you go daddy yo, live with the reality that I'm driving your precious car. Don''t worry, I'll take care of it..that's a promise. :)

*For the record, that is NOT OUR CAR. Our license plate starts with the letter
 L since I'm from Davao. I just grabbed this from google. :)

As I told you, so many things were happening lately and I am super thankful that most of it brought positive vibes. Keep it coming....

Thank you Lord! :)


Friday, June 25, 2010


What used to be a PARTY OF SEVEN is 


This was our last family picture taken during our last trip (as a family) to USA, year 2005. During this time, my sister was already residing at Arizona and we just came over the summer for a visit. 
Yes oh yes, we are a big family. It was not usual abroad to have a brood of seven. During our first US Visa application, I could still remember the bald guy with glasses ,who was set to interview us, tell my mom that we can already be a basketball team. And minutes after, we got ourselves a multiple entry to the land where dreams are made of. :)
Having a lot of members in the family is loads of fun! Imagine the chaos my parents had to go through every single day! hahaha. But seriously, we were all diligent daughters and son. Petty fights would arise here and there. Competition or jealousy was also hard to ward off because as kids, we all try to get attention and recognition from our doting parents. But as we matured, we took diverse paths. My second eldest sister, Ate Jeni is now a successful nurse at California, living with her husband, Edward. My eldest sister also went abroad for work but she's back here living with us, and is now a lucrative CPA, Lawyer. So we were a party of six. 
However, just today, my third and closest sister, Ate Johanna left for The Land Down Under. She is bound to depart around 10:45pm tonight with my mother dear. Call me emotional, but I already miss her. We have this love-hate relationship (but she prefers a hate-hate relationship. haha). Now, she's set to live independently to a place where everything around her is unfamiliar, the place, culture, food, etc. Good thing my mom will stay for her for 14 days to help her adjust to the situation. We have no close family, relative or friend at Melbourne. Although we know some people who live 45 minutes away. 

Anyway, I now have to adjust to this new setup at home. Sleeping alone (me and my sister share the same room ever since. :(, driving for myself, waiting for just 4 people to come home and many more. It won't be the same but I'm aware of the fact that we'll get through this. Just some minor adjustments and we'll do good. 

Now, it's just me, my brother JJ, my sis Jazzie, Mom and Dad.
*I know we will be complete again in the future! WEEEE. hehe. Looking forward! :)


Tuesday, June 22, 2010



It seems that I'm stuck at life's crossroads. For days I have been pondering where my life should be headed, but up to now, I am still baffled, undecided, and stagnant. At this point in time, no resolution arose from this dilemma. 

Instead of bickering these rubbish thoughts, I should have acted upon it. Dreams are just dreams unless you do something about it, but I can only take the apposite steps if I HAVE THE HEART TO DO IT. 

So I ask myself, what does my heart really say? Should I go left? right? forward? or reverse? Progression of my actions needs crucial assessment for each step taken would result to significant outcomes. I am troubled to make a decision. How long should I be jammed in this inexplicable dread? 


Or else, I might be stuck at the crossroad.



Thursday, June 3, 2010


Movie Date. Beach Outing. Thanksgiving. Reunion. 


Ever since I was in High School, my name was associated with the word "ORGANIZING". I cannot recall who or what started this but it just did. Possibly, it is due to the fact that when get togethers or parties are planned by the class or the group, I actively involve myself by voicing out suggestions and opinions, hence, I end up planning for the group. I am still befuddled whether this is a positive or a negative thing for me. 

Scheduling a simple get together can be easy if the people invited have flexible schedules. But if it's the opposite, planning a lunch date could take you weeks for it to push through. Some might even have last minute cancellations, and that's a pretty heartbreaking fact. Instead of 10 people coming, you end up being a trio. Tsk.

Frankly, I love doing this. It makes me feel like a nifty member of the group. In the view of the fact that I currently possess three cellphone numbers from three major networks, it makes it easy for me to contact my friends no matter what. I believe this is the fact why most of our group plans succeed because I can contact anybody regardless of load and cellular network. Haha. 

On the other hand, it is tiring to compose a lengthy message including all the details regarding the activity and send it to the group, then by the end of the day, you get only 3 replies out of ten. Ouch! It really doesn't matter if you can go or not, regardless of your reason, but an immediate feedback is VERY MUCH APPRECIATED. It is helpful to know the consensus of the group whether or not the plan should be pushed through. Spell C-O-O-P-E-R-A-T-I-O-N. 

No one forced me to do any of this (but let's face the fact that people do ask me to plan for the group). I could have easily said NO and that I just don't have the time (or effort) to do so. The truth is, I can't say no because I love hanging out with my friends. Whenever an opportunity comes for a get together, I plan it ASAP. I don't do it alone. I can't. Good friends help me do it. But only those who help me end up going. That's a SAD SAD FACT. I know and I should not blame myself if only a few people could go because I know that I extended all my efforts to contact you, even calling you one-by-one. I do blame myself at times, re-evaluating the situation, I ask myself, where did I go wrong? I also think that there are times that people are too busy because of their careers, DON'T GET ME WRONG, I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND THAT. It's the opposite that I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND. 

As for now, I'm giving myself a rest. People, I do get tired, you know. Tsk. It's your time to shine my friends. Haha. If you're planning something, let me know, I'll see if I can come. 



Tuesday, May 11, 2010


The 2010 Philippine Elections has ended. People are now anxiously waiting for the official declaration of results. Though unofficial results have been spreading like wildfire through the news and worldwide web of leading politicians in their respective positions, nothing is OFFICIAL unless the COMELEC or whatever government organization proclaims the WINNERS. At this moment, I would not be talking about the possible winners, who I rooted for, and those that I did not vote. I will be giving honor to the people behind the elections, and these are THE VOTERS.

I am proud to say that I have participated in our country's first ever automated polls. It may not have gone smoothly as everyone expected but just minor glitches here and there. Some places have declared 'failure of elections' but in majority, it turned out pretty well. THANK YOU LORD!

This blog is dedicated to the UNSPOKEN HEROES of our country.

- The voters who braved the scorching heat of the sun just to queue and claim their priority numbers.
- Those who complained about how long the waiting time is but still waited outside their precincts.
 - The people who embraced the new system of voting and participated in OUR COUNTRY'S FIRST EVER AUTOMATED POLLS. 
- People who chose their candidates simply because they believed in HIM/HER and what HE/SHE stood up for. No strings attached.
 - The ones who are responsible enough to practice their RIGHT TO VOTE.
- The ones who believed that their ONE VOTE could help make a difference.


According to the news, there were only around 15% of the registered voters who did not participate in the elections. How I wished it was 0% but still, 85% is not a bad figure at all.

TO THE REGISTERED VOTERS who extended their efforts to do all those things mentioned above, THANK YOU.

Now, whoever wins the elections, LET US ALL SUPPORT HIM/HER. He/she may not be your favorable candidate, but the majority have spoken.

Let us be united to welcome a BETTER COUNTRY. A BETTER PHILIPPINES.



Wednesday, May 5, 2010


A familiar reminder given to students especially during examination day. 

Cheating has become a shoddy habit amongst students. However, it is not common only in school but in the political arena as well. Vote buying, flying voters, and what not. Politicians would do everything just to win. I am not generalizing these national leaders but let us not be blinded by the fact that these kind of people exist. 

May 10 is only 4 days from now. I am eager to cast my vote on my candidates. Moreover, I am ecstatic to try the new system of voting and counting which is done automatically. It's not my first time to partake in such responsible task since I placed my preferred set of senatoriables a few years back. But this time, a bigger task is at hand for registered voters have the power to elect a president and vice president. Two authoritative positions which should go to honest and deserving people. I have chosen my candidates and for some reasons, I will not be naming them here. With strong belief, I know that my candidates can lead the country well. 

In reality, especially in the Philippine set-up, choosing a leader is not entirely in the hands of the people. Some evil-minded politicians manage their way to win through cheating. This is what I fear the most come this election day. Rumors have been circulating regarding the major possibility of failure of elections or vote buying. Not believing in my country's capabilities to progress is the last thing that I would do. I love the Philippines but with this system and with these people running our country, I may not have a chance to believe. 

Come this election day, let us all vote wisely. Others may try to influence you to vote a particular candidate,some may even resort to doling out of goods but always remember that it is always up to you. It's just you, your pen and that fragile sheet of paper. Shade the circle beside your candidate's name well to make sure it is counted. We hope for the best candidate to win, fair and square, whoever he or she is.No cheating, PLEASE. 


Wednesday, April 28, 2010


  Born and raised in Davao. Bought at Pet Mate. Japanese Spitz. Male. Spoiled. Stubborn.

Introducing our House Dog, Charlie. Well, we actually have 2 other dogs namely Tabbie and Akon but they're kinda weird..haha.

He's turning 3 this Sept.17, 2010. That's around 21 yrs old in human years. Charlie is my official jogging buddy besides my mom. I wake up around 5:20 am and as soon as he sees me, he jumps around crazily wanting to be chained up and accompany me around the neighborhood. There are times that we bump into other owners and their respective dogs, and my Charlie barks angrily at the other dogs. He doesn't care if it's a Lab, a German Sheperd or an AsPin (Asong Pinoy). I have a belief that the reason why barks at other dogs is that he thinks he is the "Mighty Dog". I always compare him to Bolt, the dog from the movie 'Bolt'. hahaha. 

Charlie is stubborn and maarte. He's a picky eater and everytime he does that, I tell him "Buti ka pa may food dyan, ang ibang aso nagahanap pa sa basurahan ng food tapos sira pa makain nila". He just looks at me with his button-shaped eyes and walks away. I guess he didn't really understand what I said. HAHAHA. That dog! 

There are also times that when we go jogging, he gets tired and stops to walk or run. So I pick him up and carry him around. One guy told our helper that Charlie is sosyal daw because he is being carried. haha. Sometimes, I lose temper that I literally drag him to walk. (Bad owner. hihi). 

When I woke up, I decided to have a morning run. My alarm rang at 5:30 am but I ended up not going because I thought of Charlie. I figured that if he acts stubborn again, then I would lost interest to walk around so that's why I ended up blogging. 

Thanks to Charlie, I get to sit here lazily and not burn calories this morning.

I love you Baby Charlie. :)

Monday, April 26, 2010


Nah. I'm not doing a movie review about Bea and John Lloyd's movie. Come'on. That was ages ago. Bea was still kinda fat and John Lloyd..well, he looks the same. haha.

Life is all about chances.

People make mistakes. Mistakes may be influenced by so many factors yet it remains as it is that it's regretted by the person who did it. I have made errors in the past that I never want to remember. But hey, I did it. I said sorry. I learned from it. LIFE GOES ON.

This very important person broke my heart. I guess it was pretty obvious with the blogs I wrote and the daily status that I post on my personal Facebook account. That person crushed my heart big time. I thought it wouldn't be mended. So then someone came along and I thought he would be the one to put the pieces back together. I wasn't ready at all to jump into anything but still, I came along for the ride. I thought everything was starting to be okay until the important person started coming back.

I was in a dilemma.

Yes. It's in past tense. Because that dilemma has been solved. I made a decision. I'm not entirely sure if it is the right decision but one thing's for sure, BEING WITH HIM FEELS RIGHT. People deserve a second chance. He is worth to be given another shot. Yet he still has to prove himself, I am willing to wait and see. Things don't happen in an instant. I hope we can make things right this time. (OMG. I'm getting emotional. *sniff sniff).



Monday, April 12, 2010

The HKM Experience

jeckitout is BACK ON THE BLOGGER BOARD! Yey! haha

Just got back from a much needed respite. My world got a little bit chaotic over the past few months that's why the vacation felt like a breakaway.

Now, I am back and I have something to blog about! I am referring to my recent trip to Hong Kong and Macau.

Last time I went to Hong Kong was in year 2001. I have been there thrice since I was young and it's my fourth this time. What could I say? I LOVE THE PLACE. Perfect weather. Posh malls. Fun theme parks. Flashy city lights. But there is more to that.

When I was young and didn't care much about the world, I was too naive and just enjoyed everything around me. But this time, when we got to this place, I started to notice so many things that my two cute little eyes were too blind to see way back.

 I'm not trying to dirt bash this country. DON'T GET ME WRONG. I LOVE THIS PLACE! But the people, I can't take them. tsk. People there walk pretty fast..and I mean fast, that even when they bump into you, no matter how strong the impact is, they just give you this 'look' and walk ayaw. No SORRY's. I'm even the one who is saying sorry even though it was their fault. tsk. It didn't only happen to me but to the rest of my family.

In fast food establishments and restaurants, the servers are not super nice unlike Filipinos who greet you with a smile. There was one time when this old employee, who served as a cashier and food server, got mad at my little brother who asked for some water. "Can we have some water, please?", my brother said nicely. Then this woman said "Grrrr.", in front of my lil bro's face. If they do that here, they might get terminated right away. tsk2. That's not how they should treat their customers. This Filipina worker at McDo just told us to leave them alone since they're really masungit daw. hehe. Now we think twice before asking for water. haha. They also have this habit of taking away your plate even if you are not yet done. That's what happened during our buffet breakfast. There was still ketchup on my plate and I wanted to dip my potato wedge in it then this lady had her hand on my plate. Before I could say no, she took it away. Just like that. haha.

Communication is also very difficult. We have a hard time ordering food at restaurants because the waiters/waitresses can't speak English so we ended up choosing meals that comes with a picture on it. haha. One more thing, they don't say THANK YOU. When you leave their place, they just say "BYE" in a weird manner. haha. Maybe that's the way they show their appreciation, I guess. hihi. And when you try to purchase something and haggle for the price, you talk to the seller via his calculator. She inputs the actual price and then I press the numbers of my preferred price. When she nods, then its a deal. That's how buying basically happens. hehe.

When we were in Macau, we found it a bit easier since there were a lot of Filipinos there. From hotel guards to fast food workers. It was easy to ask for directions and order food. My dad even had fun playing at the casinos because of the Filipinos there. This dude down here worked at Macau Tower. Flashing the "LABAN SIGN" for Noynoy. hehe. :)

But just basing my experience on the breathtaking views, wide array of brands, cheaper cost of branded items, the lights, thrill seeking rides, captivating shows, I LOVE HONG KONG and MACAU.

I would love to go back again. I have a few reasons to go back. One is that, I wasn't able to ride the Abyss Turbo Drop @ Ocean Park because I chickened out at the last minute. haha. To give you an idea about the Abyss, it is vertical free fall ride that is 20 floors high above ground level. You could hear screams from miles away. haha.

Another reason would be, because we missed out on the Esprit outlet located at the Ferry Terminal. hehe. :) Even the theme parks and shopping malls are worth coming back for.

For Macau, I would definitely go back, if given the chance and funds. hehe. It is still trying to develop. More hotels are being built, and that would mean more attractions, shows and activities for the tourists and locals. Once everything is established, I'll find a way to go to Macau again. :)

Travelling feels so good. Now where is my next stop?
*for more pictures, check out my photo albums @ my facebook account. OPEN TO FRIENDS ONLY! :)


Friday, March 26, 2010


At present, I am holding the following accounts for personal and business transactions:

I am managing quite a number of accounts. Believe me if I say that all these accounts have the same passwords. Being forgetful of passwords has become a nasty habit for me, so as to save myself from trouble, I decided to use one password for every account that I have.

So here's the thing. My password USED TO BE the name of the most important person in my life. It doesn't matter if I revealed this information to the rest of the world (Well, if the 'rest of the world' reads this useless blog.) because, as you have noticed, IT USED TO BE...past tense.

I am getting a move on. I am changing lanes. I just changed passwords.


Thursday, March 25, 2010


Did you ever feel like you and your friend understood each other just by looking at each other's eyes? Or kiss someone even though you're not officially together yet you both know what it means? 

There is something that we call a MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING that takes place between two or more parties. An action is not needed to be defined by words. You just know what it means by merely feeling it. 

Some things in life are better left unsaid. A hug can be just a hug. A smile can be just a smile. A kiss may be just a kiss. It doesn't need to be explained to be given emphasis. It is as it is. No words can describe it because YOU ONLY FEEL WHETHER IT IS GENUINE OR NOT. But when you start reasoning out like, "Oh, that was just a friendly hug...", or "Don't give much thought on that kiss"...and so on, that's when it starts to hurt. Because you know it meant more than that...but out of formality's sake or you just wanted to play it safe, you begin to explain your actions. This and that. Blah blah. And that's when it starts to hurt. You didn't need to slap reality onto my face. I know my limits. I stand my ground.

Then the mutual understanding becomes a MISUNDERSTANDING. So you started to say more and more. You even start apologizing for what you said. But I KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. I HEARD IT RIGHT. The first time I heard it, I tried to ignore it. So you said it again and I JUST CAN'T LET IT GO. Now things get worse. What could have been a happy separate ending became the opposite. Now we go on our separate ways, feeling confused and bitter. I do not know what to do, I BET YOU ARE AS LOST AS I AM. I understand what you were trying to say, BUT I WISHED YOU DIDN'T SAY IT because honestly...........

EAT ERTS. You know what I mean. :|

Some people just don't know WHEN TO SHUT UP.



TIME is one of the most essential elements in a relationship. May it be with God, your family, friends, your special someone or even your pet. As I grew older, I have a better understanding what TIME really meant...and it is more than the long hand, short hand and numbers on your wrist watch.

Here are some quotes about TIME.

 - Some people said it was gold. However, others believed that platinum is more precious than gold. And so there you have it. :| Time is as precious as the most wonderful minerals on earth. It can even be more valuable than them. Therefore, one must not waste it.

 - Instead of doing lame things like dozing off more than the recommended number of sleeping hours or just plainly being a couch potato, do something productive. Or better yet, make someone happy by just letting that person know you care. Surely, that would make her day.

 - We can never turn back the minutes, the hours or the days no matter how bad we want to. Always and I repeat ALWAYS find time to let someone know she is loved in any way you can. A simple :) would do. Remember: REGRETS HURT BIG TIME.

 - There are certain tribulations in life that we cannot understand nor take. So many why's, but's, what if's keep running in this person's mind. A reason is stated for every action, however, not everything can be understood right away. A hurtful statement is said, a misdeed is done...and you try to grasp the idea behind these actions and no matter how hard you rationalize, the wound just won't heal. Only time is the answer for everything.


Unlike other people, I cannot afford to waste time. (No, blogging and pouring out my bitter feelings in this account is NOT A WASTE OF TIME.) Being the type of person that I am, I find a way to make a person feel important. Like BDO, I FIND WAYS. (Okay, that was cheesy. haha). Seriously though, I am that kind of person. When there is a will, there is a way. I find time for someone no matter what busy schedule I am in. Well, I do not expect everyone to be like me. But maybe through this post, I can inspire someone. One of my greatest fears in life is NOT BEING ABLE TO DO ENOUGH. I do not want to be that person crying and saying "I'm sorry. I was so busy, I didn't spend enough time with you...." and all those drama. Trying to live a life with no regrets...that's what I am doing. Apparently, some people are not on the same page as mine. But now, I have realized that I have poured so much time for someone that I eventually lost myself in the process. I need time to rethink. I need time for myself.

Honestly, I do not know how to end this note. My mind is messed up.
It's 10:36pm.



Thursday, March 11, 2010


Water is my favorite drink. Next is Coke. And the other is Colt 45.

Me and Colt 45 met two days ago. It was one of the pleasant and at the same time, worst meeting I ever had. He approached me and offered me a drink. I couldn't refuse a new friend. He looked macho and bigger than the others. One drink led to another. "BOTTOMS UP!", he said. Then another. "CHEERS". Then more came..Until my face laid flat on the table. I was snoozing. I was tipsy. I was drunk.

My world was spinning and I couldn't manage a steady gait. So I chose to sleep on the table while the rest of my friends enjoyed the night. It was long since I felt this way. All throughout college, I would not drink more than 2 glasses but that night was crazy. I could not stop and I didn't want to. I was letting loose of all the worries I had. Don't get me wrong. I was still in my best behavior, more of drunken Sleeping Beauty if you asked me.

I told myself that  "I WOULD NEVER DRINK BEER AGAIN". But who knows? Maybe I'll meet another 'friend', better than Colt 45. GULP GULP GULP.

(Don't expect me to post my picture here. I would still want to maintain my reputation (If I do have one).
Thank you very much.


Tuesday, March 9, 2010


It has been almost a month and a half since I have been attending my International English Language System Test (IELTS) class from Wednesdays to Fridays. Much has been learned from the discussion of the four areas of this exam namely: Listening, Reading, Speaking and Writing. Honestly speaking, I am not that religious in attending the classes for the fact that I find it too structured and boring. Sadly, there is no other way around it.

From the four areas, much of my interest is focused on speaking. Cocky as it may sound, I believe that speaking is my forte. I may not score as high as 8s and 9s for this area but I am definitely that confident when it comes to talking..or shall I say speaking. (haha) It is an advantage that I read a lot of materials from newspapers to K-Zone magazines because when it comes to speaking where the topic is literally anything under the sun, I can discuss further on whatever is asked to me. But I do have a habit of fabricating the information that I know so as to appear more knowledgeable about the topic. (hihi). Aside from speaking, Listening has become a favorite too. Undeniably, this area is also hard since the characters talk with an accent and I do have some hearing problems every now and then. Moreover, I find it hard to concentrate when my thoughts feel like they need a vacation, and so, I miss a few items now and then. The funniest incident happen just last week when we had our trending. The characters were talking about computers and we were tasked to fill in the blanks as we listened to their conversation. As I have said, they have an accent. So when I heard the man say something about the computer being "WIRELESS", I wrote on my sheet of paper, "WALLACE". I paused for a while and kept thinking about WALLACE being linked to computers because as far as I know "WALLACE" is a NAME. hahaha. So I kept repeating the word and finally figured out that the correct answer was WIRELESS. Luckily, I was able to realize that before passing my paper. It took me sometime to regain my composure for I was laughing hard at myself and I didn't bother to tell my friend. hahaha. There are also some incidents wherein I didn't get what the character said so I end up making up answers. Silly me. As far as reading and writing are concerned, I do not dwell much on it. It is the worst areas amongst the four. Reading tires me. Writing screws my intertwined brain. 
Am I making the IELTS Review/Exam sound bad? I APOLOGIZE. It's just that I am not emotionally and mentally ready to take the exam but I HAVE TO. 

It is not really that bad, just a bit boring. I have to commend though, the efforts of the reviewers and the conducive set up that the review center has set for the examinees. I didn't regret choosing this particular review center.

Everything that I learned during the review will be favorably applied as I take the exam on MAR. 20. I still do have 1 week of dry run to attend to. And I just remembered, I have a homework on writing due on Friday. Hihi.



Tuesday, March 2, 2010


People reach a certain point in their life wherein the only thing you can do is embrace whatever is happening around you. I am at that certain point. This incidence in my life is not something to rejoice about. It's confusing and overwhelming at the same time.

I am on the point of make or break. The decision to make a life. To find a life. This experience is the exact opposite of the life I had when I was still in school. When you reach the age of 21, people go for the job hunt. But I say, it is more that that. IT IS A LIFE HUNT. You search for your path. You try to find the best road to take for a better life. Find a career that you love. I have once heard from a man who works as a Dolphin Trainer at Ocean Park, "IS THIS EVEN WORK? (Referring to his job as training dolphins) I'M SO HAVING FUN!". Then I realized that finding a job that you LOVE is similar to finding a LIFE that you LOVE.

But this "DO- WHAT-YOU-LOVE" trend is slowly disappearing like ashes. People do what is practical nowadays. Find whatever job there is and just go for it. Practicality has become a means for survival. That's why more and more people become depressed nowadays because they can no longer do what they love. Who should we blame? THE GOVERNMENT? THE PEOPLE? YOURSELF? Hmmm. Don't get me started..If we had a choice, WE WOULD ALL CHOOSE THIS to achieve eternal happiness. But then...

What is happening with us right now is "LOVE-WHAT-YOU-DO". It is as forceful as it sounds. But in this way, it could be an 80% win-win situation. Definitely a tough act to do but in this life, we are presented with lesser and lesser options. Still, you can blame so many factors around you. To face this experience, one should be strong enough to get through this. If not, then life will hit you hard on the crotch.

Life was never created to be easy. It becomes more and more complicated as you mature, live with people and even raise a life of your own.



Monday, February 8, 2010


My biggest rant for the start of 2010 is work and relationship and why other people think that they don't mix. tsk.

If you work in a call center or as a call center agent. STOP HERE.
If you choose to continue, GO AHEAD. But If by any point or chance, you are offended by my statement, I DON'T CARE. FREEDOM OF SPEECH yo.

If not, please do CONTINUE.

Now where do I start?

Things have been heating up past these days about couples getting into rants and bouts for the reason that one person is working in a call center and the other is just doing something else. I have heard so many stories of break-up because of this. AND I AM NOT HAPPY. I am not saying I have experienced this, neither am I denying it. Just go figure.

The reason for breakup? Lack of time, stress, one chooses his/her career over a loved one, and worse, a third party. Whatever that reason is, the result is all the same. A BREAK UP.
It's such an awful ordeal. Why would one choose to let go of a relationship he or she treasured for so long to a career that he isn't happy to begin with. tsk.

PLEASE. If you go find a work, and at the same time, you are in a relationship, please be mature enough to handle both at the same time. Of course, the other person is not and would never ask you to leave your job. That is absolutely unfair. But if that person is ready to understand what you got yourself in with, ready to accept and adjust, hold on to what you have. You'll never know how long it will last.

I KNOW IT'S NOT EASY. But it's definitely also not easy for your partner. So talk it out. Give each other space but not a permanent break up.

WORK and RELATIONSHIP. Both hard and important. Not the perfect combination but if handled well, it creates magic. :)


Saturday, February 6, 2010


I am definitely not the type who easily gives up. Strong-willed and determined are few of the perfect words that describe my character.

But in situations where I know that no matter how hard I try to not give up, I HAVE TO. The reason? BECAUSE IT TAKES TWO TO TANGO.

I cannot carry the burden of holding on to whatever we have, alone. That is harder than trying to cross a busy street while carrying tons of books. You get the picture.

It has been a long time since I felt this feeling. And it is something that I am not proud of. I wouldn't even choose to remember it.

Now I decided to push the red button. I'M CALLING FOR A TIME OUT.



Four years of study. 5 months of Review.
And lots of tribulations in between.



Saturday, January 30, 2010


Today is JAN. 30, 2010.

Tomorrow, perhaps on Monday, or the latest time would be February 6, the PNLE Results will be released.


Like most of the exam takers and aspiring licensed nurses, I AM NERVOUS, SCARED, JITTERY, ANXIOUS and what-not. Oh yes I am. After taking the exams last Nov., I was happy that finally, I am a few steps away from that precious license. I basically forgot all the emotions I had during the review and the exams since I was celebrating the holidays like every fellow being.


Rumors have been spreading like wildfire that only 38% of the 95,000+ takers have passed. Thanks to that useful detail, EVERYBODY HAS BECOME CRAZY!

I could not do much for now but WAIT.








I pray that D & G will pass. I pray that BSN 4-S will all pass. I pray that SPCians will get a HIGH PASSING RATE, if 100% is possible, then I have high hopes. I pray that those who are deserving will pass.

Please join me in my prayers.

Thank you.

For now, I'm still WAITING.


Tuesday, January 26, 2010


5 years back, when I entered College, I was not prepared for a battle. The kind of battle wherein people don't use violence or any heavy-armored guns. It's a battle wherein actions and words are enough to weaken and even possibly defeat the 'enemy'.

Before I even entered College, I just came from a battle. So I was a freshmen emotionally lost and weak. If I was in a real war, I could compare myself to the pawn or to a private soldier who only has a gun on his hand and lots of courage to fill himself up with.

As I was adjusting to this new life of mine, I found myself lost in a 'war' that I was unaware with. But then, I accepted it and believed that this battle was meant for me.

For almost 5 years, I have been engaged in this predicament. I have experienced so many things. So many triumphs and losses. But still, in this same situation.

With previous encounters I had, I believe that I am stronger and tougher. Just like a lieutenant with numerous badges patched up on his uniform.

Now, I am facing one of the biggest battles. I could not elaborate further. I think you get the picture. Everything that I have learned from the previous could and should be applied here. What were those 5 years for? NO. I am not a coward nor will I ever be a fallen soldier. I will fight. Stand up and charge.

LOVE IS INDEED A BATTLEFIELD. I will NEVER GIVE UP. NEVER SURRENDER. I will fight what for what is righteously ours. I will fight for the happiness you brought me, the love you gave me, the experiences you shared with me.



Thursday, January 21, 2010


It's 10:39 pm and the weather is darn cold. It has been raining for 3 days now. The weather has deeply affected my mood. Rainy days + dark skies = GLOOMorning. I hate it. (but if it had snow, I would be jumping up and down.)

But hey, shoo negativity. Let's talk about my day. ;)

I had a pretty fun-in-a-weird-kind of day today. I went malling alone. Yes, MOI, ME, AKO and ONLY MYSELF. It wasn't my main purpose because I was also there for my business transactions and so on. Went there with my sisters around 4pm and by 5 pm I was strolling around with no passengers on board. Buyers arrived past 6:30 so I had 1 and a half hour of "ME TIME".

By this time, you're feeling pity towards me because in this world, it sucks to be by yourself. But let me spin the world for you. Being alone is actually FUN. Yes, FUN!

The perks: I get to look at hair ties for 30 minutes or so without even worrying if my companion is bored with what I'm doing. I visit every store there is (skipping hardwares and computer shops. duh) and checking out clothes as if I'm buying and no one would care if I looked good on it or not. Sit by the food court and just observe by-passers.

The feeling was relaxing. I would love to have more of those "ME TIME". I'm not denying the fact that there was a bit of sadness but I was able to turn the tables and smile.

Definitely, I'm not the loner type but I would just like to reflect and just be on my own for now.


Wednesday, January 20, 2010


Here I am in a new part of cyberworld..the world of BLOGSPOT.

It is definitely a different place for me since I was used to blogging @

I really thought of it before coming up with this account because more accounts would mean more responsibility in posting, updating, and what not. But I got interested when I saw my sister's blogspot account and so is biance gonzales and dj mo's. So I came up with this.

New account would mean a new name. I hate the name game. I always come up with a lame idea. ahahaha. So I asked a few of my friends from facebook and here's what they got to say. :)

Yeah, so they came up with ideas but I didn't see the ooomph that I wanted to see. But then, credits for my friend Doi Doi Buno aka KEN for the name. In addition, I'm thanking my good pal Jay Fred for inspiring ken. haha

So there you go people.

Always drop by and 'jeck-it-out'. hahaha


Tuesday, January 19, 2010


I hereby welcome myself here in Yey!

Finally, I get to have a blog since I can't write blogs at Multiply anymore. Nobody gets to notice it or even see it due to increasing number of online shops flooding the inbox! (I'm actually running two online shops but I don't spam or flood!)

Anyways, I created this account on the day of my birthday. Weee. I didn't get a chance to write anything yesterday. I was too busy having fun with friends.

I turned 21 yesterday. It has been long since I had a house party with friends. I guess the last one was when I was 7 years old. Hahahaha. It was pretty nostalgic yesterday. Me and my friends talked about our college stuff and future plans. Some people became a bit of emotional too. (Guilty? :|) But we had to put away those feelings for a while. Why spoil the fun right? All day long we were CHATTING, EATING, KARAOKE SINGING, and PICTURE TAKING. One of the best days ever.

Now, let me talk about me getting a year older...

I have no problems with the aging process for the reason that I could always pass away as a high school student because of my height. Hahaha. But seriously, everybody gets old. Being a year older requires you to become more mature, more independent and become wiser in making decisions. As the year started, I have already made my career plans. I wanted to start the year right. I have come to embrace that plan yesterday. This is it. Hai...... and that is another story.

You may be asking what my birthday wish would be, but I'm not telling. :)