CHANGING PASSWORDS.

At present, I am holding the following accounts for personal and business transactions:

http://twitter.com/jeck_s
http://jezykah.multiply.com/
http://click2order.multiply.com/
http://thetopick.multiply.com/
http://s79.photobucket.com/home/jeck_888
http://davaosale.com/
jeck_888@yahoo.com
thetopick@yahoo.com
clickto.order@yahoo.com

I am managing quite a number of accounts. Believe me if I say that all these accounts have the same passwords. Being forgetful of passwords has become a nasty habit for me, so as to save myself from trouble, I decided to use one password for every account that I have.

So here's the thing. My password USED TO BE the name of the most important person in my life. It doesn't matter if I revealed this information to the rest of the world (Well, if the 'rest of the world' reads this useless blog.) because, as you have noticed, IT USED TO BE...past tense.

I am getting a move on. I am changing lanes. I just changed passwords.

-jeck-

BETTER LEFT UNSAID.

Did you ever feel like you and your friend understood each other just by looking at each other's eyes? Or kiss someone even though you're not officially together yet you both know what it means? 

There is something that we call a MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING that takes place between two or more parties. An action is not needed to be defined by words. You just know what it means by merely feeling it. 

Some things in life are better left unsaid. A hug can be just a hug. A smile can be just a smile. A kiss may be just a kiss. It doesn't need to be explained to be given emphasis. It is as it is. No words can describe it because YOU ONLY FEEL WHETHER IT IS GENUINE OR NOT. But when you start reasoning out like, "Oh, that was just a friendly hug...", or "Don't give much thought on that kiss"...and so on, that's when it starts to hurt. Because you know it meant more than that...but out of formality's sake or you just wanted to play it safe, you begin to explain your actions. This and that. Blah blah. And that's when it starts to hurt. You didn't need to slap reality onto my face. I know my limits. I stand my ground.

Then the mutual understanding becomes a MISUNDERSTANDING. So you started to say more and more. You even start apologizing for what you said. But I KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. I HEARD IT RIGHT. The first time I heard it, I tried to ignore it. So you said it again and I JUST CAN'T LET IT GO. Now things get worse. What could have been a happy separate ending became the opposite. Now we go on our separate ways, feeling confused and bitter. I do not know what to do, I BET YOU ARE AS LOST AS I AM. I understand what you were trying to say, BUT I WISHED YOU DIDN'T SAY IT because honestly...........

EAT ERTS. You know what I mean. :|

Some people just don't know WHEN TO SHUT UP.

-jeck-

TIC TOC TSK.

TIME is one of the most essential elements in a relationship. May it be with God, your family, friends, your special someone or even your pet. As I grew older, I have a better understanding what TIME really meant...and it is more than the long hand, short hand and numbers on your wrist watch.

Here are some quotes about TIME.

* TIME IS PLATINUM.
 - Some people said it was gold. However, others believed that platinum is more precious than gold. And so there you have it. :| Time is as precious as the most wonderful minerals on earth. It can even be more valuable than them. Therefore, one must not waste it.

* DON'T COUNT EVERY HOUR IN THE DAY, MAKE EVERY HOUR IN THE DAY COUNT.
 - Instead of doing lame things like dozing off more than the recommended number of sleeping hours or just plainly being a couch potato, do something productive. Or better yet, make someone happy by just letting that person know you care. Surely, that would make her day.

* LOST TIME IS NEVER FOUND AGAIN.
 - We can never turn back the minutes, the hours or the days no matter how bad we want to. Always and I repeat ALWAYS find time to let someone know she is loved in any way you can. A simple :) would do. Remember: REGRETS HURT BIG TIME.

* TIME HEALS WHAT REASON CANNOT.
 - There are certain tribulations in life that we cannot understand nor take. So many why's, but's, what if's keep running in this person's mind. A reason is stated for every action, however, not everything can be understood right away. A hurtful statement is said, a misdeed is done...and you try to grasp the idea behind these actions and no matter how hard you rationalize, the wound just won't heal. Only time is the answer for everything.

***************

Unlike other people, I cannot afford to waste time. (No, blogging and pouring out my bitter feelings in this account is NOT A WASTE OF TIME.) Being the type of person that I am, I find a way to make a person feel important. Like BDO, I FIND WAYS. (Okay, that was cheesy. haha). Seriously though, I am that kind of person. When there is a will, there is a way. I find time for someone no matter what busy schedule I am in. Well, I do not expect everyone to be like me. But maybe through this post, I can inspire someone. One of my greatest fears in life is NOT BEING ABLE TO DO ENOUGH. I do not want to be that person crying and saying "I'm sorry. I was so busy, I didn't spend enough time with you...." and all those drama. Trying to live a life with no regrets...that's what I am doing. Apparently, some people are not on the same page as mine. But now, I have realized that I have poured so much time for someone that I eventually lost myself in the process. I need time to rethink. I need time for myself.

Honestly, I do not know how to end this note. My mind is messed up.

It's 10:36pm.

TIC TOC TSK.

-jeck-

GULP GULP GULP

Water is my favorite drink. Next is Coke. And the other is Colt 45.

Me and Colt 45 met two days ago. It was one of the pleasant and at the same time, worst meeting I ever had. He approached me and offered me a drink. I couldn't refuse a new friend. He looked macho and bigger than the others. One drink led to another. "BOTTOMS UP!", he said. Then another. "CHEERS". Then more came..Until my face laid flat on the table. I was snoozing. I was tipsy. I was drunk.

My world was spinning and I couldn't manage a steady gait. So I chose to sleep on the table while the rest of my friends enjoyed the night. It was long since I felt this way. All throughout college, I would not drink more than 2 glasses but that night was crazy. I could not stop and I didn't want to. I was letting loose of all the worries I had. Don't get me wrong. I was still in my best behavior, more of drunken Sleeping Beauty if you asked me.

I told myself that  "I WOULD NEVER DRINK BEER AGAIN". But who knows? Maybe I'll meet another 'friend', better than Colt 45. GULP GULP GULP.

(Don't expect me to post my picture here. I would still want to maintain my reputation (If I do have one).
Thank you very much.

-jeck-

IELTS OOPS.

It has been almost a month and a half since I have been attending my International English Language System Test (IELTS) class from Wednesdays to Fridays. Much has been learned from the discussion of the four areas of this exam namely: Listening, Reading, Speaking and Writing. Honestly speaking, I am not that religious in attending the classes for the fact that I find it too structured and boring. Sadly, there is no other way around it.

From the four areas, much of my interest is focused on speaking. Cocky as it may sound, I believe that speaking is my forte. I may not score as high as 8s and 9s for this area but I am definitely that confident when it comes to talking..or shall I say speaking. (haha) It is an advantage that I read a lot of materials from newspapers to K-Zone magazines because when it comes to speaking where the topic is literally anything under the sun, I can discuss further on whatever is asked to me. But I do have a habit of fabricating the information that I know so as to appear more knowledgeable about the topic. (hihi). Aside from speaking, Listening has become a favorite too. Undeniably, this area is also hard since the characters talk with an accent and I do have some hearing problems every now and then. Moreover, I find it hard to concentrate when my thoughts feel like they need a vacation, and so, I miss a few items now and then. The funniest incident happen just last week when we had our trending. The characters were talking about computers and we were tasked to fill in the blanks as we listened to their conversation. As I have said, they have an accent. So when I heard the man say something about the computer being "WIRELESS", I wrote on my sheet of paper, "WALLACE". I paused for a while and kept thinking about WALLACE being linked to computers because as far as I know "WALLACE" is a NAME. hahaha. So I kept repeating the word and finally figured out that the correct answer was WIRELESS. Luckily, I was able to realize that before passing my paper. It took me sometime to regain my composure for I was laughing hard at myself and I didn't bother to tell my friend. hahaha. There are also some incidents wherein I didn't get what the character said so I end up making up answers. Silly me. As far as reading and writing are concerned, I do not dwell much on it. It is the worst areas amongst the four. Reading tires me. Writing screws my intertwined brain. 

Am I making the IELTS Review/Exam sound bad? I APOLOGIZE. It's just that I am not emotionally and mentally ready to take the exam but I HAVE TO. 

It is not really that bad, just a bit boring. I have to commend though, the efforts of the reviewers and the conducive set up that the review center has set for the examinees. I didn't regret choosing this particular review center.

Everything that I learned during the review will be favorably applied as I take the exam on MAR. 20. I still do have 1 week of dry run to attend to. And I just remembered, I have a homework on writing due on Friday. Hihi.

WISH ME LUCK! ;)

-jessica-

DO WHAT YOU LOVE OR LOVE WHAT YOU DO

People reach a certain point in their life wherein the only thing you can do is embrace whatever is happening around you. I am at that certain point. This incidence in my life is not something to rejoice about. It's confusing and overwhelming at the same time.

I am on the point of make or break. The decision to make a life. To find a life. This experience is the exact opposite of the life I had when I was still in school. When you reach the age of 21, people go for the job hunt. But I say, it is more that that. IT IS A LIFE HUNT. You search for your path. You try to find the best road to take for a better life. Find a career that you love. I have once heard from a man who works as a Dolphin Trainer at Ocean Park, "IS THIS EVEN WORK? (Referring to his job as training dolphins) I'M SO HAVING FUN!". Then I realized that finding a job that you LOVE is similar to finding a LIFE that you LOVE.

But this "DO- WHAT-YOU-LOVE" trend is slowly disappearing like ashes. People do what is practical nowadays. Find whatever job there is and just go for it. Practicality has become a means for survival. That's why more and more people become depressed nowadays because they can no longer do what they love. Who should we blame? THE GOVERNMENT? THE PEOPLE? YOURSELF? Hmmm. Don't get me started..If we had a choice, WE WOULD ALL CHOOSE THIS to achieve eternal happiness. But then...

What is happening with us right now is "LOVE-WHAT-YOU-DO". It is as forceful as it sounds. But in this way, it could be an 80% win-win situation. Definitely a tough act to do but in this life, we are presented with lesser and lesser options. Still, you can blame so many factors around you. To face this experience, one should be strong enough to get through this. If not, then life will hit you hard on the crotch.

Life was never created to be easy. It becomes more and more complicated as you mature, live with people and even raise a life of your own.

DO WHAT YOU LOVE OR LOVE WHAT YOU DO.
CHOOSE ONE .
LIVE WITH IT.

-jeck-
11:08am
3.2.2010